the morning after 

for a while there, I thought you forgot about the possibility of us… but then we had a few drinks which then leads to things becoming dangerous. for once you started touching me in public, it turned me on so much. people were looking but it didn’t phase us. I guess I got too damn excited & drank too damn much. I had plans to go back to my place & tear the bed up.. once again, I got too fucked up & you didn’t want anything to do with me. I wouldn’t want to fuck with me either, you couldn’t even look at me.. I really need to stop, turning into the devil fucking up the inevitable. I’ll say I’m sorry every morning after & you’ll be pissed that I can’t handle my alcohol & what we could have done will become lost. 

lost in my head, that’s where I’ll be for the whole week after. thinking about what could have been & how I turn everything into a disaster. I don’t blame you but your distant habits fuck me up so much. when I need you, you ignore me, why do I feel so lonely…. I do it to myself, screw it all up, sorry for turning every night bad & messing up. I could show you better than I can tell you so don’t cut me out of your life. I obviously still want to be your friend but fuck you at night…. 


love the pain

you are a rose with many thorns. I pick you up when you are looking warm. I can see deep into your layers…. darker & darker…

aware of the jabs you will give me, but still drawn to your beauty. inhailing the magical essence, not thinking about the thorns. 

I can eventually see you capturing my soul. then I will be kicking myself when I’m ruined & restless. 


empty, unsatisfied. wondering if it will ever turn around. the anxiety, the doubt. I pretend that I am happy, but deep down I am bleeding. not exactly the way people perceive me. 

I feel like I am gasping for air. calculating things in my head pulling out my hair. 

heart beats fast, even when I’m laying in bed. thinking about the irrelevant shit that i have once said. 


take my sorrows, throw them in my face. I know I’ve been a mess. my flaws, take them all, make me think less. punch me in the face, strip me of everything. most of it was poison. take it and burn it. burn all my old habits, burn who I pretended to be. get me back to that place. where I wasn’t lost, where I could see. 


attraction is relevant to the chemical romance. you need that assurance, you need that physical bond. you need emotional feelings, but yet something beyond. 

fuck me up 

you make my blood boil to the point of acting out. I’m defensive without a doubt. you like me one day, making me crazy, next week you can’t stand me. 

so I leave, with your lips on my mind. time and time, this happens every time. deny what you want. you’ll be stubborn and I’ll be upfront. we all know that you’ll feel me after a few shots in. five hours later and I’m still exploring you’re skin. 

possible shitty song 

my mind, twisted, upside down. baby you make me love this crazy town. before I wanted to disappear, find a way out. now I’ve met someone and it’s you without a doubt.

you make me wanna be reckless, you make me wanna have no cares, about the way I feel deep down. I’ve been fighting with my feelings there is no other way out. you’re body is so striking, call that a knockout. 

calculated brain

immediate attention captured by me. the soul created in my mind, maybe one day I will find. that person I have created, will appear in my future, but they say it takes time.

I have this idea of the person for me. however, no one is good enough and no one will ever be. 

as sad and stubborn as that sounds, looking for that soul to come around. they aren’t real, just a fantasy, that one day I hope to have, created by me…. 


here for a reason, not sure for what yet. my story continues on, life, many lessons have not met. so much to learn, experience at full. day by day, push and pull. we will figure it out sometime down the road, that every day we awake will soon be a story told. 

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