the morning after

for a while there, I thought you forgot about the possibility of us… but then we had a few drinks which then leads to things becoming dangerous. for once you started touching me in public, it turned me on so much. people were looking but it didn’t phase us. I guess I got too damn excited & drank too damn much. I had plans to go back to my place & tear the bed up.. once again, I got too fucked up & you didn’t want anything to do with me. I wouldn’t want to fuck with me either, you couldn’t even look at me.. I really need to stop, turning into the devil fucking up the inevitable. I’ll say I’m sorry every morning after & you’ll be pissed that I can’t handle my alcohol & what we could have done will become lost. 

lost in my head, that’s where I’ll be for the whole week after. thinking about what could have been & how I turn everything into a disaster. I don’t blame you but your distant habits fuck me up so much. when I need you, you ignore me, why do I feel so lonely…. I do it to myself, screw it all up, sorry for turning every night bad & messing up. I could show you better than I can tell you so don’t cut me out of your life. I obviously still want to be your friend but fuck you at night…. 

react/respond

we sometimes act out as if we are unleashing inner thoughts. thoughts that we don’t even think about if that makes sense? we unleash at heated times, releasing things from our mind, a reaction that can be known as unkind. 

we explode at times without hesitation, situations building up creating frustration. we don’t think about the consequences or what life will be like when things are said. we just burst out wild thoughts on the top of our heads.

what does this do? frustration can make us act out forgetting at times what the fight is even about… is it really a fight? or am I adding to the fire? the reaction you have exploited was not even desired.

sometimes you are the issue. you don’t see how powerful your reaction can tamper with everyone around you.