the morning after 

for a while there, I thought you forgot about the possibility of us… but then we had a few drinks which then leads to things becoming dangerous. for once you started touching me in public, it turned me on so much. people were looking but it didn’t phase us. I guess I got too damn excited & drank too damn much. I had plans to go back to my place & tear the bed up.. once again, I got too fucked up & you didn’t want anything to do with me. I wouldn’t want to fuck with me either, you couldn’t even look at me.. I really need to stop, turning into the devil fucking up the inevitable. I’ll say I’m sorry every morning after & you’ll be pissed that I can’t handle my alcohol & what we could have done will become lost. 

lost in my head, that’s where I’ll be for the whole week after. thinking about what could have been & how I turn everything into a disaster. I don’t blame you but your distant habits fuck me up so much. when I need you, you ignore me, why do I feel so lonely…. I do it to myself, screw it all up, sorry for turning every night bad & messing up. I could show you better than I can tell you so don’t cut me out of your life. I obviously still want to be your friend but fuck you at night…. 

manage me, I’m a mess 

you are terrifying, you are sweet, you are ruined, you are fresh. my mind tries to capture you looking outside of the mess. the mess that you define yourself as, the intruinging morals that you test are something that I cannot live without, we are all a mess.

I like the mystery and the way you pull me in, the presence of you’re soul always draws me in, wanting to explore deeper into you’re skin. 

you shut me me out completely without any explanation at all, my calculated brain will continue to fall.

fall, fall for you and the mindset you portray, the different mentality like no other way. 

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